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The One With Ross's New Girlfriend

Episode 2.01

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Rachel, ready to reveal her feelings to Ross, meets him at the airport; her plans fall apart, however, when she finds out about his new girlfriend, Julie. Chandler, already feeling guilty about revealing Ross's feelings to Rachel, now feels worse that he encouraged Ross to forget about her. The gang watches Sumo Wrestling. Phoebe gives Joey and Chandler haircuts; Monica wants one, too. Phoebe is reluctant because of Monica's picky nature, but finally gives in. Monica wants a cut like Demi Moore; unfortunately Phoebe confuses "Demi" with "Dudley". Chandler needs a suit made, and Joey refers him to the family tailor; while getting measured for pants, Chandler gets a little more attention than he bargained for. Ross sickens everyone (especially Rachel) with his constant gushing for Julie. In Rachel's depression, she sleeps with Paolo again.

The one where they said....

Rachel: Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

Ross: Well, we just wanted to say a quick, "hi," and then we're gonna go see the baby.
Julie: And then we've gotta get some sleep.
Ross: Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time.
Chandler: Okay, well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised.

Monica: Phebes, you know what I'm thinking?
Phoebe: Oh, okay! How... it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Monica: No, although now that's what I'm thinking.

Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Phoebe: Oh! No.
Monica: Why not?
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Monica: No you're not.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.

Chandler: Hey, anybody know a good tailor?
Joey: You need some clothes altered?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. ...No, excuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990?
Chandler: Okay, you have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!

Monica: If I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't... but this is about your horrible mistake.

Paolo: Hey! Hey, Ross.
Ross: Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here?
Paolo: I do Raquel.

Chandler: Well, despite the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?

Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Monica: How who wears it?
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Monica: Demi Moore is not a "he!"
Phoebe: Well, he was a "he" in Arthur, and in Ten.

Frankie: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: Oh, at least as long as I have the pants.

Rachel: How is she?
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: Well, can we see her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.

Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I just hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me.

Chandler: He said he was going to do my inseam, then he ran his hand up my leg, and then there was definite...
Ross: What?
Chandler: ...Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross? Would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!

Monica: Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten.
Monica: Thank you. My hair is very amused.
Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.

Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
Chandler: That's okay.

Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know? Like Andy McDowell's new haircut?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Oh, I could do that.
Julie: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you wanna do it right now?
Julie: Great!
Phoebe (to Rachel): Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time. Andy McDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. No no no no no no. That's Roddy McDowell. Andy McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.


Written by Jeff Astrof and Mike Sikowitz
Directed by Michael Lembeck
Lauren Tom as Julie
Cosimo Fusco as Paolo
Buck Kartalian as Frankie
Aired 9/21/95, 12/7/95