Joey participates in a fertility study, but things get hard when he has to avoid intimacy with Melanie, his new fruit-basket-making girlfriend. The gang has a barbecue, but Ross only shows up long enough to drop off Rachel's birthday present and announce he's going to China to get a bone for the museum. Later, while Rachel opens her presents, Chandler lets slip that Ross is in love with her; she goes to the airport to catch him before he leaves, but just misses him. While he's gone, she debates what to do do. Finally, she decides to go for it and goes to the airport for his return. Unknown to her, however, Ross has become involved with another woman during his week in China.
Chandler: Men are here.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules,
if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... personal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Monica: Joey, we always know what you mean.
Ross:: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Monica: Oh, no, she's out having drinks with Carl.
Ross: Oh. Hey, who's Carl?
Monica: You know: that guy she met at the coffeehouse.
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
Ross:: At the coffeehouse, right.
Phoebe: So you do know who he is!
Ross: Do you guys know who Carl is?
Chandler: Uh, let's see. Alvin, Simon, Theodore.... No.
Ross:: Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight.
Joey: Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man.
Chandler: I'm still on my first. I... I just think you're nice.
Rachel: This one's from Joey. Feels like a book, I think it's a book. Feels like a book, and... it's a book!
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
Joey: That book got me through some tough times.
Melanie: There is a little child inside this man!
Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on--Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: ahem... um... Crystal duck?
Joey: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
Chandler: So how'd it go?
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
Joey: Well, it's, like, last night I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Chandler: Yes, I know. As it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.