Page Layout and Synopsis ©1997 by Darcy Partridge

The One Where No One's Ready

Episode 3.02

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Ross has an important night but no one else is ready to go. Joey and Chandler fight about chairs and clothes. Joey spills humus on Phoebe's dress. Monica hears an old message from Richard and thinks that it might be new; she leaves him a message which she then tries to erase, but just makes it worse. Rachel can't decide what to wear; Ross gets angry and Rachel decides not to go... unless he drinks the fat.

The one where they said....

Joey: Alright--they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: Yep, it's fat! I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah, I know. I did that two minutes ago.

Ross: You guys, you know what? You know what? It doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops.

Ross: Look, I don't care! It starts at eight. We can't be late.
Phoebe: We could not, would not want to wait.

Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat?

Rachel: You guys, does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.

Chandler: Alright, fine! You know what? We'll both sit in the chair.
Joey: Fine with me.
Chandler: I'm sooo comfortable.
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.

Chandler: What are you doing?
Joey: Well, you said I had to give you the chair. You didn't say anything about the cushions.
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.

Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume--unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler, I would like back one of these days.

Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Because, um, I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey: It's a rented tux, Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.

Phoebe: Rachel didn't have anything that I liked, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, alright, fine, I'll be political.
Chandler: What are you supporting?
Phoebe: Duh! Christmas!

Chandler: Monica? I think you've gone over to the bad place.

Chandler: You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?

Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is: You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
Joey: Look at me--I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando!

Ross: Look, what... what can I do to show you how much... how much I want you to be there?
Joey: You could drink the fat.
Ross: Hi. Welcome to an adult conversation.

Rachel: No, no, no! Okay, okay. Don't! I'll go, I'll go!
Ross: You will?
Rachel: You were really gonna do that, weren't you?
Ross: Well, yeah.
Rachel: You were gonna drink the fat.
Joey: Let's see what else he'll do!

Monica: Maybe we could call the phone company... or maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think after this he'll be doing that himself.

Rachel: Come on. Oh! And, uh, by the way...
Ross: What?
Rachel: I'm going commando, too.


Written by Ira Ungerleider
Directed by Gail Mancuso
Peter Dennis as Sherman Whitfield
Aired 09/26/96, 12/19/96, 7/3/97, 3/25/2004