Page Layout and Synopsis ©2000 by Darcy Partridge

The One With Rachel's Assistant

Episode 7.04

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Joey's TV show (Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.) premiers. He gets called in to audition for the part of Stryker Ramoray (Drake's twin brother) on Days of Our Lives. But his new-found stardom goes to his head and he walks out. Since his TV show stinks, it gets cancelled and he has to come crawling back to Days. Rachel hires an assistant, and choses a pretty-boy (Tag) instead of a qualified woman. Monica and Chandler decide they shouldn't have secrets from each other, but it backfires on upsets them both, and Ross as well.

The one where they said....

Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says very much about you?
Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?

Chandler: So Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?
Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. So what was Phoebe's secret?
Monica: Oh. Nancy Thompson, from Phoebe's old massage place, is getting fired.
Chandler: That's it? I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
Monica: That's right! You lose, sucker! ...Please still marry me.

Joey: You know, Terry, I... I don't really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series. With a robot.
Terry: I'm sorry Joey that's... that's the way it is.
Joey: Well, I guess you think you're pretty special huh? Sitting up here in your fancy small-hall building. Making stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well, you know what? This is one star whose hoop... This is a star that the hoop... this hoop.... I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!

Ross: Oh really? Well I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Chandler: Dude!
Monica: What happened in Atlantic City?
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...
Chandler: Did you not hear me say, "Dude!"
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after a while he goes over to her and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls. And you're right, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: You kissed a guy? Oh my God.
Chandler: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.
Ross: Oh, Mon, I laughed so hard...
Chandler: Ho ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again?
Ross: Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.

Chandler: You wanna tell secrets? Okay, okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Chandler: Ross came in forth and cried!

Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box she'd made.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Monica couldn't tell time until she was 13!

Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Chandler: Hey!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't think of anymore for Ross!
Ross: Oh! Oh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm!
Chandler: That was you.
Ross: Whatever, dude, You kissed a guy.

Tag: Phoebe. That's a great name.
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.

Tag: I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch. By guys.
Rachel: Oh really?
Tag: Yeah. Did you tell someone that I was gay?
Rachel: Oh, did you not want people to know that?
Tag: But I'm not gay. And I especially wouldn't want you to think I was gay.
Rachel: Why's that?
Tag: I don't think I should say.
Rachel: Oh, you can say. Come on, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things.
Tag: Okay.
Rachel: 'Kay.
Tag: Well...
Rachel: Yeah....
Tag: I'd love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Rachel: Yeah... she's gay.


Written by Brian Boyle
Directed by David Schwimmer
Eddie Cahill as Tag Jones
Michael Kagan as Terry
Jean St. James as Hilda
Cody Tucker as Kathy
Cynthia Graham as Nurse #1
Renee Louise Rogers as Nurse #2
Eric Rutherford as Stryker Ramoray
Aired 10/26/2000, 1/25/2001