Ross, Joey, and Chandler go on a ride-along with Gary; thinking a car back-fire is actually a gunshot, Joey dives and protects Ross from harm. Chandler is upset that Joey chose to protect Ross... until he learns that Joey was really trying to protect his sandwich. While getting Margarita fixings as Ross' apartment, Rachel overhears Emily--who is getting married the next day--leaving a message, wondering if their break-up was a mistake. Monica and Rachel debate about what to do, and Rachel accidentally erases the message. She stays and waits for Ross to return so she can tell him.
Joey: This place makes the best sandwich in the world.
Gary: Hey, Joey, does it have meatballs on it?
Joey: Oh yeah.
Gary: Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce?
Gary: Yeah. You can't eat that in my car.
Joey: Yeah, okay. Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
Chandler: Your tax dollars?
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Um, I need some, uh,
some salt, some margarita mix, and Tequila.
Rachel: So all we had was ice?
Monica: See if he has some ice.
Rachel: I don't think he's the one who needs help.
Monica: All right, look. She's obviously unstable, okay? I mean, she's thinking about running out on her wedding day.... Okay, fine, but... I mean, look at the position she's putting him in. I mean, what's he going to do? He's like... Ross is going to run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage? Who would do that? Okay, fine. All right? But that's... you know, that was different. Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Monica: Look, if you're going to be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you.
Ross (to his answering machine): Hey, Ross, it's you. I just want you to remember
this feeling. You are lucky to be alive. So live every day to the fullest. Love yourself,
okay? Okay. Uh, oh, and also get stamps.
Monica: Wow. Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away.
Chandler: It was a car back-fire.
Ross: Yeah, but... but he didn't know that.
Joey: Yeah, I didn't know that!
Ross: And it could've just as easily had been a bullet.
Gary: Yeah, Joey, you ever think about joining the force? We could use a guy like you.
Chandler: ...who jumps at loud noises.
Ross: Wow, I could have died tonight.
Chandler: Yeah, if the car that back-fired had run over you.
Joey: Cut it out, Ross. I'd hate to have to save your life and kick you ass in the same day.
Rachel: I'm gonna just go tell Monica that I was right. Because you know what?
She didn't want... not important. Point is, I was right: Your decision. Okay? I was right:
Ross: Right. Yeah, I guess... I guess I should call Emily.
Rachel: Okay, no, now that's not the right decision.
Ross: Wait, wait, wait, the... the machine is blinking. I... maybe you didn't erase it!
Machine: Hey Ross, it's you...
Ross: Oh, yeah, right. Oh, that's... that's an old message. Nobody needs to hear that. Hey, um, was Monica here?
Ross: Yeah. I want my money back.
Rachel: Yeah. You probably need that for stamps, right?
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war. I mean, I really... I think I would make a
fantastic military leader. I mean, I know I would make General before any of you guys.
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He'd be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Chandler: Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches.
Phoebe: You all know that I am a pacifist. So I am not interested in war in any way. But you know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all.