Page Layout and Synopsis ©1999 by Darcy Partridge

The One Where Ross Can't Flirt

Episode 5.19

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Monica and Chandler are going out for their ten-month anniversary; Chandler wants Monica to wear the earings he gave her. However, she lent them to Phoebe, who lent them to Rachel, who lost one. Ross sees Chandler flirting with the pizza girl (Caitlin) and decides he's going to turn on the charm as well, with disasterous results. Joey has a part on Law and Order; his grandmother comes over to watch the show, but his part has been cut. Joey quickly improvises a scene on video tape and slips it into the VCR.

The one where they said....

Caitlin: Hi Chandler!
Chandler: Hey Caitlin! Somebody got a haircut.
Caitlin: Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.

Caitlin: Hey, where's the chicken?
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off. He said that eggs came first.

Caitlin: One, uh, vegetarian pizza. That's $12.15.
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes it feel any better, I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: What?
Ross: No, I mean, uh, uh... no, no... the, uh, your hair. Before--your hair. You said you thought that your hair looked like an 8-year-old's, and I'm... I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Caitlin: Oh. Thanks.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: Y'know, all I'm looking for is the money.

Chandler: I was not flirting.
Monica: It's okay. I don't care. It's just... it's fine.
Ross: Really?
Chandler: Really?
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
Chandler: So, uh, you... you flirt with guys all the time?
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference, all right? You are a lot hotter than I am.
Joey: True story!

Chandler: Rachel, when, uh... when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: Uh, no, no. It bothered me when he slept with other women.

Chandler: See, when you flirt with a guy, you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Monica: No way!
Chandler: It's true.
Monica: Well that's pathetic!
Chandler: Again, true.
Monica: And this goes for all guys?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

Rachel: And besides, I... you know, I think he really likes you.
Caitlin: Really?
Rachel: Well, you know, we have 7 people and, like, 10 pizzas, what do you think?
Caitlin: I just... I thought Joey was there.

Chandler (singing): Ground control to Major Tom... Commencing countdown, engines... on!
Joey: That's, uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week!
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!


Written by Doty Abrams
Directed by Gail Mancuso
Kristin Dattilo as Caitlin
Lilyan Chauvin as Grandma Tribbiani
Aired 4/22/99, 8/19/99