Gunther re-trains Rachel on how to be a waitress; she realizes it's time to quit working at the coffee shop. Ross accidentally breaks a little girl's leg, and ends up selling Brown Bird Cookies for her so she can go to Space Camp. Monica's childhood cookie habit returns. Joey gets a job at a Christmas tree lot. Phoebe tries to come to terms with the cruelty of having a Christmas tree.
Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know. I feel horrible, okay.
Chandler: Says here that a muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around ten-ish?
Rachel: Huh. Well, ya know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll
be closer to the mugs. You know what? You should have the other waitresses do that too.
Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the "tray spot."
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that. I sorta just thought it was, like, a club they went to.
Ross: No, hi, I-I'm an honorary Brown Bird.
Woman: What does that mean?
Ross: Uh, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to sleep-overs.
Phoebe: So, what happens to the old guys?
Joey: Well, they go into the chipper.
Phoebe: Why do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?
Monica: Alright, I'll take one box of the mint treasures; one, and that's it.
I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. Remember, Dad bought every one
of my boxes and I ate them all?
Ross: Uh, no Mon. Dad had to buy every one of your boxes because you ate them all.
Gunther (to Rachel): And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
Gunther: Remind me to review with you which pot is de-caf and which is regular.
Rachel: Can't I just look at the handles on them?
Gunther: You would think.
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as "Laser Floyd" was letting out of the planetarium. Without even trying I sold fifty boxes! That's when it occurred to me--the key to my success: the munchies. So I, ah, I started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me, "Cookie Duuude!"
Charla: You're a big scrud.
Ross: What's a scrud?
Charla: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud.
Ross: I don't have too. I can just look at you!
Troop Leader: Charla, 278. Sorry, dear, but still good.
Ross: Good for a scrud.
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best!
Chandler: It's like "Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees."