Page Layout and Synopsis ©1998 by Darcy Partridge

The One With The Ick Factor

Episode 1.22

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Rachel has sex dreams--first about Chandler, then Chandler and Joey, and finally about Ross. Phoebe looks for supplemental income, and works part time as Chandler's secretary. This leads to Chandler's discover that the people at the office don't like him anymore... and they even mimic his unique way of talking. Monica dates Ethan, a younger man who turns out to be even younger than she thought; she breaks up with him because it's just too icky. Ross gets a beeper so Carol can page him when she goes into labor; after several false alarms, he gets beeped for the real thing, and everyone heads to the hospital.

The one where they said....

Ross: Why... why... why would you dream that?
Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?
Rachel: Well, you were pretty damned good.
Chandler: Interesting, because in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate.
Rachel: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table.
Ross: I love it when we share.

Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one time thing. I was very drunk and it was somebody else's subconscious.

Phoebe: Can you see me operating a drill press?
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?
Ross: Phebes, why would you want to operate a drill press?
Phoebe: Just for some short-term work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.
Chandler: Pirates again?
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home workshop," and they are.

Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!"

Chandler: They do me?
Phoebe: You know, like... uh, okay: "Could that report be any later?"
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Joey: Yeah, you do.
Ross: "The hills were alive with the sound of music.
Joey: My scones!
Phoebe, Ross, & Joey: "My scones!"
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true. That is so not... That is so not... Oh, shut up!

Ethan: Uh, before we get into any staying-over stuff, there is something you should know.
Monica: Okay, is this like, "I have an early class tomorrow," or, "I'm secretly married to a goat?"

Ross: Are you not seeing him anymore?
Monica: No. You know, sometimes just... things doesn't work out.
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.

Phoebe: Oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people.
Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.
Phoebe: No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza!

Rachel: Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in the bathroom?
Ross: I thought that was just a rumour.

Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers: I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
Santos: Sure.
Gerston: No problem.
Chandler (to Phoebe): You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos... and who's the guy with the moustache?
Phoebe: Petrie.
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, somebody's gonna be working... this weekend.


Written by Alexa Junge
Directed by Robby Benson
Stan Kirsch as Ethan
Brian Buckner as Office Worker #2 (Gerston)
Darryl Sivad as Office Worker #3 (Petrie)
The actress who played Office Worker #1 (Santos) was uncredited, probably because she had so few lines.
Aired 5/4/95, 8/10/95