Everyone attends Joey's new musical, Freud! While there, Chandler meets a beautiful and exotic woman, Aurora, and begins dating her. Joey gets picked up by the Estelle Leonard Talent Agency, which gets him a job as Al Pacino's butt double. However, he loses the job by overacting. Rachel cleans the apartment by herself for the first time; however, she moves the green ottoman, which starts Monica obsessing. Chandler finds out Aurora is married and already has another boyfriend. When she picks up still another, Chandler isn't sure he can take it.
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, right. And what would my opening line be? "Excuse me. Blah rargh largh."
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please. Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Phoebe: Oh, oh! But you know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys. You could be one of those guys.
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
Chandler: So tell me, how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me... sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Ross: Well, you know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean anthropologically speaking...
Everyone: ZZZzzzzz. (loud snoring)
Ross: Fine. Fine, alright, now you'll never know.
Monica: We're kidding. C'mon, tell us!
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey...
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster.
It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching
their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
Monica: Stop it! Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?
Ross: Monica, you're Mom.
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific. It's, y'know, you deserve this, after
all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Ross: No, you're right, you're right, it is. So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Joey: I need to borrow some moisturizer.
Monica: For what?
Joey: Whadda ya think? Today's the big day!
Monica: Okay. Go into the bathroom, use whatever you want, just don't ever tell me what you did in there.
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
Monica: He's in the bathroom... I don't think you wanna go in there!
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates.... Aaaaaaaagh! My eyes! My eyes!
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about
this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what? No one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: My mom will.
Chandler: There's something so sweet and... disturbing about that.