Page Layout and Synopsis ©2004 by Darcy Partridge

The One Where The Stripper Cries

Episode 10.11

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Joey's a celebrity guest on Pyramid; he does horribly until he's in the Winner's Circle, where he does very well... until the last clue. Rachel and Monica throw a bachelorette party for Phoebe, but haven't hired a stripper. When they learn that Phoebe's counting on one, they make a quick call and hire the first one that is available. He turns out to be short, fat, and old. When Phoebe doesn't like him, he cries. Ross and Chandler go to a college alumni gathering. They argue about girls from their past, prompting a series of flashbacks to 1987 and their freshman year of college, including a party where Rachel (with her old nose) and Monica (before she lost the weight) come for a visit. Several discoveries are made, including the fact that Chandler kissed Rachel, and Ross (who thought he kissed Rachel) actually kissed Monica.

The one where they said....

Joey: Hey, guys...
Monica: Wait! Let me tell them!
Joey: Sure.
Monica: Joey's going to be a celebrity guest on a game show!
Ross: Really? Which one?
Monica: Uh... fish. Seaweed. A sunken ship.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean. Oh! You're going to be on Pyramid!

Joey (on Pyramid, the word is 'blueprint"): If I'm building a house, the plan isn't called a shmoo-print.
[Buzzer sounds to indicate Joey broke a rule.]
Joey: Can't do that either?
[New word is Football Field]
Joey: Oh, in high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the....
Gene: Cafeteria?
Joey: Yeah! But that's not what they're looking for.

Gene (the word is "cream"): You put this in your coffee.
Joey: A spoon! Your hands! Your face!
Gene: It's white.
Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!
Gene: It's heavier than milk.
Joey: A rock! A dog! The earth!
Gene: Pass!
[New word is "mayonaisse"]
Gene: You put this on a sandwich.
Joey: Salami! Anchovies! Jam!
Gene: It's white.
Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!
Gene: It's made from eggs.
Joey: Chickens!?
Gene: Pass!
[New word is "ketchup"]
Gene: You put this on a hamburger.
Joey: Ketchup!
Gene: Yes!
Joey: Relish!
Gene: Stop!
Donny: Oh, time's up.

Joey: You know, some of those are pretty hard! Like, why would there be a ghost in my 'fridge?

Gene [category is 'types of trees]: Oak, maple, elm, birch...
Joey: Uh, I dunno... types of trees?
[Bell rings]
Gene (category is "spanish words"): Uh, buenos dias, enchillada, por favor...
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know any spanish words.
[Bell rings]
Gene: Wow. [Realizing he has a chance... new category is 'things that burn."] A match. A candle.
Joey: Things that go "tsss" when you put them out!
Gene: A torch. A bonfire. Uh, your pee!
Joey: Things that burn!
[Bell rings]
Gene (category is "what a dog might say"): I'd like to go for a walk. Scratch my belly.
Joey: Dude, I think you're losing it!
Gene: I have fur. I like to bark.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh, what a dog says!
[Bell rings]
Gene (category is pizza toppings): Pepperoni...
Joey: Pizza toppings! Next!
Gene: Cindy Crawford. Uh, Christie Brinkley. Heidi Klum. Claudia Schiffer.
Joey: Oh, uh, uh...
Gene: Christie Turlington. Uh, Kate Moss.
Joey: Girls Chandler could never get!
[Buzzer sounds, time is up]
Gene: Supermodels!
Joey (looking around): Where?

Ross: It matters to me!
Chandler: Why?
Ross: Because the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time!
Chandler: You kissed her that night, too?
Monica: Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.
Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen?
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, but it was so dark I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but it was amazing. And now... now I find out that you kissed her first!
Chandler: Uh, wait, what bed did you say she was on?
Ross: Mine.
Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
Ross: No, she was definately on my bed.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Monica (horrified): Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ross (realizing): No! No! No!
Monica: Yes!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats! You were my midnight mystery kisser?
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?
Chandler: What did I marry into?


Written by Marta Kauffman & David Crane
Directed by Kevin S. Bright
Danny Devito as Roy (the stripper)
Ellen Pompeo as Missy Goldberg
Donny Osmond as Himself
Gregory Jbara as Gene Lester (Pyramid contestant)
Leslie Charleson as Herself
Kimberley Davies as Adrienne Turner
Ryan Carlberg as Pizza Delivery Boy
Cyndi Martino as Henrietta Cherry (Pyramid contestant)
Matthew Mullany as Stage Manager
Aired 2/5/2004, 2/10/2004, 5/20/2004

Trivia: When Ross gave the long list of people who had dated each other in college, he ended with the name, "Michael Skloff." Michael Skloff writes music for Friends. In fact, he wrote the music for the Friends theme song.