Joey gets bad reviews for his latest play and decides to quit show business... until his agent gets him an audition for a soap opera. He finds out, however, that he'd have to sleep with the casting director to get the part. Monica starts dating Fun Bobby again; she notices he seems to have a drinking problem. She confronts him and he decides to quit, after which Monica notices he's no longer any fun. Rachel dates Russ, who bears a striking resemblence to Ross.
Ross: Yeah, but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun
Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
Phoebe: Yeah. Oo-oo, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories
with, um, "Okay, I was so wasted," or, "Oh, we were so bombed,"
or, um, oh, oh, "So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut..."
Joey: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Phoebe: Oh! Well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do?
We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
Chandler: Hey, yeah! We could all sleep together, and then one of us could get amnesia!
Russ: Oh, you are the, uh... paleontologist.
Ross: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
Russ: Periodontist.
Monica: See? They're as different as night and... later that night.
Ross: I don't know what she sees in... in... that goober. And what, and it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uh... uh, hello... a... week, to get out a sentence.
Joey: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way, though.
You know? I mean, let's say I do make it, all right? I'm always gonna look
back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of... you know...
the Little General.
Chandler: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
Joey: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
Chandler: Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Rachel: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Chandler: Me.
Rachel: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Chandler: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Ross: How'd the callback go?
Joey: It was unbelievable. I walked in there and she was all over me!
Chandler: So what'd you do?
Joey: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
Ross: Good for you.
Joey: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught
up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
Phoebe: So... and?
Joey: So... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramoray, Neurosurgeon,
recurring in at least four episodes!
Everyone: All right!
Joey: All right... I've got to go shower.
