Monica's restaurant gets a bad review by someone who teaches at a local school. After she and Joey confront the critic, they participate in a beginning cooking class so she can feel better about herself. The teacher (Sarah) is quickly impressed by her talents. Ross and Rachel buy baby furniture, and the saleswoman (Katie) asks Ross out. Rachel is terribly jealous and wants Ross to be with her at all times to help her out (which he is happy to do). Phoebe helps Chandler prepare for a job interview, so he can control his tendancy to make jokes about everything. He almost makes it.
Katie: I can tell you work out. A paleontologist who works out. You're like Indiana Jones.
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones!
Phoebe: All right, don't freak out! Okay? I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Chandler: An hour.
Phoebe: I can't help you.
Phoebe: All right, all right, we'll just do our best. Okay? So let's say that I'm the interviewer and I'm meeting you for the first time. Okay: Hi! Come on in, I'm, uh, Regina Phalange.
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Oh, Bing, what an unusual name.
Chandler: Well, you should meet my uncle, Bada. [Awkward pause] I'll let myself out.
Sarah: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry. Did you use all your cheese?
Joey: When you say, "used," do you mean, "eat as a pre-cooking snack?"
Sarah: And the cream?
Joey: Cheese makes me thirsty.
Monica: I'm... I'm sorry. It's just that, um, well I cook at this restaurant, Allesandro's, and I just got a
really bad review.
Sarah: Oh Allesandro's! I love that place!
Monica: You do?
Sarah: Oh yes! You're an excellent chef! As a person you're a little...
Monica: Oh, totally crazy, but you like the food?
Mr. Tyler: So let's talk a little bit about your duties.
Chandler (supressing laughter): My doodies? All right.
Mr. Tyler: Now you'll be heading a whole division, so you'll have a lot of duties.
Chandler: I see.
Mr. Tyler: But there'll be, perhaps, 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them.
Chandler: Good to know.
Mr. Tyler: We could go into detail...
Chandler: No, don't, I beg of you!
Mr. Tyler: All right then, we'll have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, you'll fit in well here.
Mr. Tyler: Absolutely. You can relax. You did great.
Chandler: Yeah. I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. You know, I've been told I come on too strong, make too many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that "duty" thing. [Mr. Tyler looks puzzled.] Doodies. Doodies! [Mr. Tyler is still confused.] Poo!
Mr. Tyler: Poo?
Chandler: Oh my God, this doesn't count! Okay? The interview was over!. That was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! There's a crazy guy out in the hall!
Mr. Tyler: Poo?!
Chandler: I'll look forward to your call.
Monica: Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Want to feel good about yourself?
Joey: What the hell!
The Acting Teacher: All right, let's start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
[No one can answer, including Joey.]
Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea.