Page Layout and Synopsis ©2002 by Darcy Partridge

The One In Massapequa

Episode 8.18

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Ross and Monica's parents have their 35th anniversary party in Massapequa. Phoebe brings Parker, who turns out to be annoyingly positive about everything. Monica tries in vain to give a toast that will hit everyone emotionally and make them cry. Mr. and Mrs. Geller have told all their friends that Ross and Rachel are married, so they have to make up stories about their engagement and wedding. Ross' story about how he proposed to Rachel touches her.

The one where they said....

Ross: Oh! Chi-Chi! I loved this dog! You know, Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Monica: What?
Ross: You were the 230-pound eleven year old who rode her!

Parker: I don't want to forget this moment! It's like I want to take a mental picture of you! Click!
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.

Chandler: Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net, looking for that man.

Female Guest: Where did you have it?
Rachel: On a cliff in Barbados. At sunset. And Stevie Wonder sang, "Isn't She Lovely" as I walked down the aisle.
Female Guest: Really?
Rachel: Yeah, Stevie's an old family friend.
Female Guest: Oh my god, that sounds amazing. I'd love to see pictures.
Rachel: Oh, so would I. You wouldn't think that Annie Leibovitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Ross: Would you... would you excuse us for a second? [To Rachel] Um, what are you doing?
Rachel: What? I'm not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have!

Parker: Is there something wrong?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word, "wrong?" Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical? Everything isn't "aglow with the light of a million fairies?" They were just brake lights, parker.
Parker: Well excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam!

Parker: I'm a positive person!
Phoebe: No, I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus, on Prozac! At Disneyland! Getting laid!

Phoebe: Hey, don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on the way out!
Parker: Isn't this the most incredible fight you've ever had in your entire life?


Teleplay by Mark Kunerth
Story by Peter Tibbals
Directed by Gary Halvorson
Alec Baldwin as Parker
Elliott Gould as Jack Geller
Christina Pickles as Judy Geller
Kat Sawyer as Catherine
Ellen Gerstein as Aunt Lisa
John C. Moskoff as Uncle Dan
Tim Silva as The Male Guest
Aixa Clemente as The Female Guest
Aired 3/28/2002, 8/22/2002