Page Layout and Synopsis ©2001 by Darcy Partridge

The One Where Rachel Tells...

Episode 8.03

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Chandler and Monica go on their honeymoon. Everywhere they go, another honeymooning couple beats them to the last of the free newlywed upgrades. Rachel prepares to tell Ross that he's the father of his child. Joey and Phoebe realize neither of them have keys to Chandler and Monica's apartment. Phoebe needs her guitar and Joey wants food, so they call the superintendent saying there's a gas leak. Mr. Treeger has the door broken down. Rachel tells Ross, and he and Joey learn that condoms are not 100% effective. Rachels gets a sonogram but can't tell where the baby is.

The one where they said....

Monica: I didn't think you could keep it a secret.
Chandler: What? I am an excellent secret-keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Joey: What secrets?
Chandler: Oh, no no, Joey. I am not going to tell you, because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey (privately): Psst. You'll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.

Joey (on phone): Hey, Mr. Treeger,it's Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment, it's an emergency. Uh... Uh... gas leak! Yeah, and bring garlic bread.

Monica: Did you hear that? They bumped them up to first class because they're on their honeymoon! Come on, let's act like we're on our honeymoon!
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Monica: Grab my ass!

Ticket Agent: Okay, Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J,and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K.
Monica: Oh, no, you see, um, we're on our honeymoon. So, um, can you do you're little thing and bump us up to first class?
Ticket Agent: I'm sorry, all the first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Monica: You see, if we'd gone around them like I said, then she would have given us those tickets! Damn it!
Chandler: 25J and K. Any chance those aren't together?

Rachel: I know, but, you know, condoms only work, like, 97% of the time.
Ross: Wha-what? What!? Well, they should put that on the box!
Rachel: They do.
Ross: No they don't! [He checks]. Well, they should put it in huge black letters!
Rachel: Okay, Ross, come on, let's just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Well, I may as well have!

Monica: No, you have been screwing us all day!
Man: Who are you?
Chandler: We're you! Just ten seconds later!

Ross: the aparment. Although, we could probably worry about that until after we get married.
Rachel: Wha... married?
Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married!
Rachel: What, because that's your answer to everything?

Ross: You can't possibly do this alone.
Rachel: Excuse me?
Ross: Come on, Rach. I mean, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant.
Rachel: What?
Ross: I'm just saying, if you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Ross: When have you ever?
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Ross: Well, certain other people take 2 hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Rachel: Oh, please, you inhale your food!
Ross: I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!


Written by Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer
Directed by Sheldon Epps
Mike Hagerty as Mr. Treeger
Amanda Carlin as Dr. Long
Lynn A. Henderson as The Ticket Agent
Evie Peck as The Nurse
John O'Brien as The Airline Employee
Anita Dashiell as The Front Desk Clerk
Shane Nickerson as The Man
Laurie Naughton as The Woman
Aired 10/11/2001, 12/27/2001, 5/2/2002