While searching for the right wedding dress, Monica meets Megan, another woman engaged to be married. Monica tells her about a great wedding dress sale the next day. Not only do they both go to the sale, they both grab the same gown. After a brief struggle, Monica previals. However, Megan books the band the Monica and Chandler want for their wedding, and blackmails Monica into returning the dress. Ross and Joey both meet and begin dating a pretty woman who is moving into the neigborhood. Once they find out that they're both dating the same woman, the competition gets fierce. Chandler, Ross, and Joey give themselves facials for their T-zones.
Joey: I'm Joey.
Joey: Oh, wow, what a beautiful name! What is it again?
Ross: We're going out again Saturday. But I just found she's also seeing some other guy.
Chandler: Really? Joe? What would you do if you were in Ross's situation?
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean, yeah, I'm dating this girl who's also seeing another guy. But I don't know, I'm not too worried about it.
Ross: Well, you shouldn't be. Believe me, I wouldn't want to be the guy who's up against you. I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Chandler: So, this is nice. I wish I didn't have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. Oh, uh, by the way, what's the name the girl you're dating?
Joey and Ross: Kristen Lang.
Ross: Well, obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
Joey: Obviously. So, how do we decide?
Ross: Well now, let's look at this objectively. I think I should date her.
Joey: Uh huh. Uh huh. Or... or I'm the one who dates her.
Ross: That's interesting, but check this out. I date her.
Joey: Yeah, yeah I like that, but just to go in another direction...
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Joey: Yeah, well, we should order some food then.
Ross: No Joey! Look, why donít... why don't we just let her decide? Okay? Hey, hey, we'll each go out with her one more time. And we'll see who she likes best.
Joey: That sounds fair.
Ross: Maybe I'll take her to that new French restaurant down the street.
Joey: Uh, yeah, wait a second now! Look, we're gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I don't have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Ross: Well, sorry, that's what I do on dates.
Joey: All right, well I guess I'll just have to do what I do on dates.
Ross: So let's decide on the spending limit.
Joey: Yeah. Uh... a slice.... Six dollars?
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Joey: Okay. Can I borrow 94 dollars?
Kristen: Is your back feeling better?
Ross: Oh, yeah, it's fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasm out of control.
Kristen: Well, uh, Ross, This is Joey. Joey, Ross.
Ross: Hi. It's nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I don't anymore.
Ross: So, Joey, um, you look familiar. Are, uh, are you on TV or something?
Kristen: Well, Joey doesn't like to talk about it but, he's one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Ross: That's right! That's right. Don't you play a woman?
Joey: A woman in a man's body.
Ross: Much better.
Joey: You know, Ross, it's funny, because you look familiar to me, too. Have you ever been married?
Ross: Well, yes, yes I have. In fact, um, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how I've been married and how I have a son.
Kristen: Yeah, little Eric.
Ross: That's right. Wait, no, Ben.
Joey: So you've just been married the one time then?
Ross: Well um...
Kristen: You've been married twice?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy I'm getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when the girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake!
Joey: Yeah. So, uh, Ross, now why did that first marriage break up? Was it because the woman was straight or because she was a lesbian?
Kristen: Do you two know each other?
Joey and Ross: No.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Ross: Wait a minute! Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed with a monkey?
Ross: Hey, you leave Marcel out of this!
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?
Ross: Hey, hey, have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet, V.D. boy?
Joey: Monkey lover!
Joey: When do you think we lost her?
Ross: Probably around gonorrhea.
Chandler: Hi, honey! I'm home!
Monica: Don't come in here!
Chandler: Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
Monica: No! We only mess around at his place!
Chandler: You know, it's funny. I started it, but now it's scaring me. So could you come out here please?