Rachel catches Monica waiting seductively in her bedroom for Chandler; to cover, Monica tells Rachel she's seeing a guy from work. Monica tells Rachel that her new boyfriend is the best sex she's ever had, and when Chandler hears this he gets a little too proud of himself. Ross finally gets Emily on the phone and they begin planning to work things out; Emily agrees to come to New York but only if Ross doesn't see Rachel anymore. After much agonizing, Ross agrees. Joey gets involved with a PBS pledge drive, believing he's the host; but he's only a phone jockey and not even on camera. Phoebe reveals her hatred for PBS, which started because she never got an answer to a letter she wrote to Sesame Street after her mom died. Joey and Phoebe argue about whether any truly selfless good deeds exist, so Phoebe tries repeatedly to find one.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Ross: Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8-Ball, should I never see Rachel again?
"Ask again later." Later is not good enough! "Ask again later." What the hell!
This is broken! It... it is broken!
Monica: All right, let me see. Will Chandler have sex tonight? "Don't count on it." Seems like it works to me.