Friends
Page Layout and Synopsis ©1998 by Darcy Partridge

The One With Phoebe's Uterus

Episode 4.11

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Frank Jr. and Alice have eloped, and they ask Phoebe to be a surrogate mother for them; Phoebe asks advice of her birth mother, who gives her a puppy for only three days so she'll know what it's like to give up something you love. Ross gets Joey a job as a Tour Guide at the museum; Joey is hurt when Ross won't sit next to him at lunch (the white coats don't sit with the blue blazers); this prompts Ross to stand up and make some changes in the cafeteria, but it works a little too well. Chandler is nervous about being intimate with Kathy since she used to be Joey's girlfriend; feeling his performance is only adequate, he asks advice from Monica and Rachel; Kathy is very grateful.

The one where they said....

Phoebe:It's her... It's her egg and his sperm, and I'm, I'm just the oven, it's totally their bun.

Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but I... what is there to think about? I'm gonna be giving someone the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Chandler: You're gonna carry their child and get them a Sony Play Station?

Joey: Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period.
Smart Kid: Isn't the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic?
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking.

Tour Guide: Maybe it's crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, butchu not in a perfect world. You in a museum now. See that scientist with the glasses? He and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now... [yelling] Peter! Hey, Peter! It's me, Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin' wichu man! I gave you my Snack Pack! [to Joey] See, he pretend he don't even here me!
Joey: I... I think everybody's pretending they don't hear you.

Monica: All right, I'm gonna show you something a lot of guys don't know. Rach, give me that pad, please? All right. Now...
Chandler: Wait, you don't have to draw an actual wo.... Whoa! She's hot!
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven!
Chandler: There are seven?

Chandler: That's one?
Monica: Kind of an important one!
Chandler: Oh, y'know... y'know what? I was looking at it upside down.
Rachel: Well, y'know, sometimes that helps.

Monica: All right. You could, uh, start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, a 3, a 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7... 7... 7... 7 7 7 7 7 7... seven.


Credits

Written by Seth Kurland
Directed by David Steinberg
Teri Garr as Phoebe, Sr.
Giovanni Ribisi as Frank, Jr.
Debra Jo Rupp as Alice
Paget Brewster as Kathy
James Michael Tyler as Gunther
Sherri Shepherd as The Tour Guide (Rhonda)
Miles Marisco as The Smart Kid
Jack Ong as The Older Scientist (Andrew)
Jim Bently as Another Tour Guide (Ted)
Chip Chinery as Another Scientist (Scott)
Aired 1/8/98, 6/25/98