Frank Jr. and Alice have eloped, and they ask Phoebe to be a surrogate mother for them; Phoebe asks advice of her birth mother, who gives her a puppy for only three days so she'll know what it's like to give up something you love. Ross gets Joey a job as a Tour Guide at the museum; Joey is hurt when Ross won't sit next to him at lunch (the white coats don't sit with the blue blazers); this prompts Ross to stand up and make some changes in the cafeteria, but it works a little too well. Chandler is nervous about being intimate with Kathy since she used to be Joey's girlfriend; feeling his performance is only adequate, he asks advice from Monica and Rachel; Kathy is very grateful.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but I... what is there to think about?
I'm gonna be giving someone the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Chandler: You're gonna carry their child and get them a Sony Play Station?
Joey: Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period.
Smart Kid: Isn't the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epoch?
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking.
Tour Guide: Maybe it's crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats
and blazers, butchu not in a perfect world. You in a museum now. See that scientist with the
glasses? He and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but
now... [yelling] Peter! Hey, Peter! It's me, Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my
puddin' wichu man! I gave you my Snack Pack! [to Joey] See, he pretend
he don't even here me!
Joey: I... I think everybody's pretending they don't hear you.
Monica: All right, I'm gonna show you something a lot of guys don't
know. Rach, give me that pad, please? All right. Now...
Chandler: Wait, you don't have to draw an actual wo.... Whoa! She's hot!
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven!
Chandler: There are seven?
Chandler: That's one?
Monica: Kind of an important one!
Chandler: Oh, y'know... y'know what? I was looking at it upside down.
Rachel: Well, y'know, sometimes that helps.
Monica: All right. You could, uh, start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, a 3, a 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7... 7... 7... 7 7 7 7 7 7... seven.