Phoebe and Monica buy a van (with a mural, flashing nipples, and other "extras") for their catering business; Monica fills in for a food critic in a small local newspaper; after she gives a restaurant a scathing review, they offer her a job as the new head chef; she has to chose between it and the catering business. Ross and Chandler make plans to party with Gandolf, the party wizard; Gandolf cancels and Ross and Chandler are left bored, until Joey convinces them that they can party themselves. Rachel tries for a new position at work, but her boss doesn't quite cooperate.
Allesandro: I want a retraction. Our food is not "inedible swill."
Monica: I couldn't eat it. I have five friends who couldn't eat it. And one of them eats books.
Allesandro: Well, our service is not "grossly incompetent."
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants.
Allesandro: Well, you said that we accept the Discover Card, which we do not.
Joanna: If you must know the truth, I didn't want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Joanna: That's why I said all those things about your flirting, and your drinking...
Rachel: My drinking?
Joanna: Oh, I must have said that after you left.
Rachel: Said what, exactly?
Joanna: That you enjoy the occasional drink...ing binge.
Joey: So you've just been sitting around here all morning?
Ross: No. I balanced my checkbook.
Chandler: Yeah, And I... I gave first names to all the foosball players.
Ross: Hey hey hey, when, uh, when were we on a boat?
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, when you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
Chandler: Okay, those were seals, man.
Monica: I got offered the head chef job at Alessandro's.
Monica: It's okay, because, you know what, if you think about it, you don't really need me for the business.
Phoebe: You're the cook! Without you it's just me driving up to people's houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Chandler: I'm 29 years old, damn it! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television, and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. And I'd like to hang out in a quite place where I can talk to my friends.
Ross: Yeah. And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath.
Joey: We're 29; we're not women.
Phoebe: Wow, you really wanted me to do something with this van. You know what? I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: Yeah. That's what you really want. Yeah, I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy. That would just make me unhappy. And I really don't want to be the reason I'm unhappy.
Monica: Thank you.
Phoebe: Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team.