Ross dates a fantastically beautiful paleontologist (Cheryl); everything is going great until he finds out she's incredibly messy. Chandler buys a rare copy of Kathy's favorite book for her birthday, but then has to make sure that Joey's gift is good, too. Phoebe lends Monica money so she can make a more serious attempt to get her catering business going; Monica has a little trouble collecting payment from a client. Rachel strives to finish a crossword puzzle all by herself.
Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boys' love makes the rabbit real!
Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Rachel: Oh, honey, that's so sweet.
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Joey: Oh, I know...
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Phoebe: Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
Monica: Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!
Phoebe: I'll have one, please. Plus my money.
Monica: Oh, well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But look--I've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay. Oh, sorry I acted like a bank.
Cheryl: Um, would you like to come in?
Ross: Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools?
Cheryl: According to recent findings!
Joey: Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
Phoebe: Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "These sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Ross: You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Well, like that, except instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, its a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived!
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Ross: I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Ross: I don't know. Soap?
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Rachel: Any luck?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm a hard ass.
Monica: And I'm a wuss. And we should be partners.
Phoebe: Yeah. Hard Ass and Wuss. We could fight crime!
Monica: I can cook and you can take care of the money.
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties!
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Chandler: What do you mean?
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese."