Chandler and Joey try to make due with patio furniture and a canoe as their only furnishings. Chandler bumps into Joanna (Rachel's boss) and they go out again... and end up having quite a fling; while sneaking into Joanna's office, Rachel finds Chandler half naked and hand-cuffed to a chair. Monica caters her mother's party and "pulls a Monica" when she loses a fake nail in one of the quiches. A salesman tries to sell Joey encyclopedias, but Joey just can't afford a whole set.
Monica: I had it when I put... Oh my God, it's in the quiche! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Okay, don't panic. I'm gonna go to the store, I'm gonna get you another set of nails, no one's gonna know, and you're gonna look great. Oh! Oh, it's 'cause they're gonna eat... that's the problem.
Monica: Okay, uh, please don't freak out, um, but, uh, there's a blue fingernail in... in one
of the quiche cups. And there's no way to know which one.
Phoebe: And whoever finds it wins the prize.
Monica: You bet that I'd screw up? All that stuff about hiring me because I was good was...
Mrs. Geller: No no no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Monica: You promised Dr. Weinberg you'd never use that phrase.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: I'm getting dressed.
Chandler: When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.
Sophie: Hi! I brought you back a macaroon!
Joanna: Oh great, I'll keep it in my butt with your nose.
Rachel: You know what, Chandler? You got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
Chandler: No, no, nonononono... I can't get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with The Amazing Chandler.
Salesman: Where does the Pope live?
Joey: In the woods. No, wait, wait. That's the joke answer.
Salesman: Now, uh, what do you know about, uh... vulcanized rubber?
Joey: Spock's birth control.
Phoebe: Just change what it means, you know. Go down there and prove you mother wrong.
You finish the job you were hired to do, and we'll call that, "pulling a Monica."
Phoebe: Okay, um, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica!" Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica. Whew." Or someone hits a homerun, the announcer says "Yeah, that one's outta here." 'Cause somethings don't change.
Joey: Wow, there's a lot I didn't know about vomit.
Joey: You think I have 12 hundred dollars? I'm home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furnature in my living room. I guess there's a few things you don't get from book learnin'.
Rachel: There's gonna be rumors about this. There's no way to stop it. Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
Chandler: How do Monica and Phoebe know?
Rachel: Well, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous... or very stingey.
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success, which would make you...
Mrs. Geller: A bitch?