Page Layout and Synopsis ©1997 by Darcy Partridge

The One With Frank Jr.

Episode 3.05

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Joey gets carried away with a mailbox project and ends up building an entertainment center; he mistakenly cuts Chandler's door in half in the process. Then he gets sidetracked on re-tiling Monica's bathroom floor. Phoebe hangs out with her half-brother, Frank Jr., in hopes of getting to know him better; he misunderstands when she tells him she gives people "massages and stuff". The gang all consider what five celebrities would be on their "freebie list"--people they can sleep with without anyone getting upset; Ross finally narrows his list down by eliminating Isabella Rossellini... then he bumps into her.

The one where they said....

Chandler: Hey-ey-ey. So what happened? Did a forest tick you off?
Joey: No. Ya know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail?
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?

Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Monica: No, but he told me he thinks you're a fox.

Chandler: Well, we have a deal where we each get to pick five different celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad.
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship: Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Monica: So, Chandler... who's on your list?
Chandler: Uh, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and, ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that she's a cartoon... and way out of your league?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.

Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess... Chris O'Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Ross: Spiderman?
Rachel: Hardy Boy.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Ross: Thank you.

Joey: Oh, sorry. Did I get ya?
Chandler: No, you didn't get me! It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!

Ross: And... Isabella Rossillini.
Chandler: Oho! Very hot, very sexy. But, uh, ya know, she's too international, ya know. She's never gonna be around.
Rachel: So?
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds: Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country, like, all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rossillini--geography.

Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Phoebe: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Monica: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Phoebe: I just asked you.
Monica: I just asked you.
Phoebe: I don't have time for this.
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Phoebe: You just gave up really quickly.

Frank: You... you work at one of those massage parlors?
Phoebe: Well, ya know we don't call it that... but yeah!
Frank: Wow! That's wild! No, I had no idea.
Phoebe: All righty. I'll be back in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me?
Frank: You mean, like, watch?
Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house! You know? What are big sisters for?
Frank: I don't think this, ya know.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldn't do you myself. I mean, that would be weird. Yeah, no, I'll get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this is so much fun! Yay! Are you excited?
Frank: Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?

Monica: It's beautiful! It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was. Whoa! What are you going in there for?
Chandler: What, like a number?

Ross: Okay, I'm done with my choices. These are final.
Rachel: Well, it's about time.
Joey: Oo, very official.
Ross: Oh, yeah, well, ya know, Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Monica: And who laminated it?
Ross: That was me.
Rachel: Alright, let me see. Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and... Dorothy Hammill?
Ross: Hey, it's my list.
Rachel: Okay, honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice.

Frank: Oh, come on! We went to... we went to Times Square; we found ninja stars; I almost get my arm broken by a hooker...
Phoebe: She's not a hooker.
Frank: Well, when I tell my friends about her, she will be.

Joey: Maybe my ruler is wrong.
Phoebe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong.

Ross: What? You don't think I'd go up to her?
Rachel: Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.

Monica: Rach? Are you really gonna let him do this?
Rachel: Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rossillini. I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn.

Ross: Oh no, no, wait, wait! Isabella, don't... don't just dismiss this so fast. I mean, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Isabella: Yeah, for you.

Isabella: You know, it's ironic.
Ross: What?
Isabella: Because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I just bumped you for that guy over there.


Written by Scott Silveri & Shana Goldberg-Meehan
Directed by Steve Zuckerman
Isabella Rossellini as herself
Giovanni Ribisi as Frank Jr.
Cynthia Mann as Jasmine
Aired 10/17/96, 1/23/97