Page Layout and Synopsis ©1997 by Darcy Partridge

The One With The Candy Hearts

Episode 1.14

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Ross goes on a date with a Kristen, a woman from his apartment building; Carol and Susan show up at the same restaurant; Susan gets paged and leaves; Ross pays so much attention to Carol that he doesn't even notice his date has gone. Joey can't go out with his date, Lorraine, unless he brings a friend for her friend; Chandler agrees to go, but the date turns out to be Janice; Somehow they end up together again; Janice buys Chandler candy hearts for Valentines Day; Chandler breaks up with her--again. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel have a cleansing ritual to rid themselves of bad luck with men, which turns into a small fire; Fireman guys come to the rescue.

The one where they said....

Ross: An egg?
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back. I'm returning your egg."
Chandler: I think it's winning.
Ross: C'mon, I think it's insane.
Chandler: She'll love it. Here. Go with the egg, my friend.

Joey: Think it'll work?
Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg.

Monica: Yeah, well, I'd take a little crying any day over Howard, the "I win" guy. I win! I win! I went out with the guy for two months--I didn't get to win once.
Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people!
Monica: I don't know. Maybe we're like some kinda magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.

Janice: By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Chandler: That's OK.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.

Kristen: Who are they?
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Kristen: You mean they're lovers.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Kristen: Wow, uh, anything else I should know?
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it. ...Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part.

Phoebe: Ok, so now we need... um, sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Monica: All I have is oregano and a Fresca.
Phoebe: Um... that's ok! Ok, all right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
Rachel: Huh. Okay, Pheebs? You know what? If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.

Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't think things are gonna work out.
Janice: That's fine.
Chandler: It is?
Janice: Mm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Oh, no I don't.
Janice: Well, then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's--who invited who? Valentine's--who asked who into whose bed?
Chandler: I did, but...
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn: Ja-nice, Ja-nice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Chandler: Call me!


Written by Bill Lawrence
Directed by James Burrows
Jane Sibbett as Carol Willick
Jessica Hecht as Susan Bunch
Heather Medway as Kristen Riggs
Nancy Valen as Lorraine
Larry Poindexter as Fireman Dave
Jay Acovone as Fireman Charlie
Joel Gretsch as Fireman Ed
Maggie Wheeler as Janice
Aired 2/9/95, 4/13/95, 8/3/95