Ross goes on a date with a Kristen, a woman from his apartment building; Carol and Susan show up at the same restaurant; Susan gets paged and leaves; Ross pays so much attention to Carol that he doesn't even notice his date has gone. Joey can't go out with his date, Lorraine, unless he brings a friend for her friend; Chandler agrees to go, but the date turns out to be Janice; Somehow they end up together again; Janice buys Chandler candy hearts for Valentines Day; Chandler breaks up with her--again. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel have a cleansing ritual to rid themselves of bad luck with men, which turns into a small fire; Fireman guys come to the rescue.
Joey: Think it'll work?
Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg.
Monica: Yeah, well, I'd take a little crying any day over Howard, the "I win" guy.
I win! I win! I went out with the guy for two months--I didn't get to win once.
Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people!
Monica: I don't know. Maybe we're like some kinda magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
Janice: By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all my pictures. So if
you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Chandler: That's OK.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
Kristen: Who are they?
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Kristen: You mean they're lovers.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Kristen: Wow, uh, anything else I should know?
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it. ...Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part.
Phoebe: Ok, so now we need... um, sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Monica: All I have is oregano and a Fresca.
Phoebe: Um... that's ok! Ok, all right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
Rachel: Huh. Okay, Pheebs? You know what? If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me
to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this.
I just don't think things are gonna work out.
Janice: That's fine.
Chandler: It is?
Janice: Mm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Oh, no I don't.
Janice: Well, then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's--who invited who? Valentine's--who asked who into whose bed?
Chandler: I did, but...
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn: Ja-nice, Ja-nice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Chandler: Call me!