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The One With The Dozen Lasagnas

Episode 1.12

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Everyone hums the theme from The Odd Couple. Monica is stuck with a dozen lasagnas because she didn't know they were supposed to be vegetarian. Paolo and Rachel prepare for their first weekend away together; Paolo makes a pass at Phoebe, which ends his relationship with Rachel. Phoebe makes the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world. Joey and Chandler have to get a new table, but can't agree on which one; they end up with a foosball table; Monica rules the foosball field. Carol finds out the gender of the baby, but Ross doesn't want to know... even though everyone else knows.

The one where they said....

Joey: I love babies; with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that. Forever.

Carol: I got the results of the amnio today.
Ross: Oh! Tell me, tell me... is everything, uhh...
Carol: Totally and completely healthy!
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! [looking at a photo] Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
Carol: Uh, that's our friend Tanya.
Ross: Of course it's your friend Tanya.
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Ross: The sex? Yea, um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya... yow....
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.

Ross: Oh, great. Now he knows and I don't know!
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Joey: Or an uncle!

Joey: Will you pick one? Just pick one! Here, how about that one?
Chandler: That's patio furniture!
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?"
Chandler: What about the birds?
Joey: I don't know. Birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Chandler: You pick one.
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Chandler: Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!

Phoebe: Ok, um, we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One: My friends are the most important thing in my life. Two: I never lie. And three: I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world.
Rachel: Ok, thanks Pheebs. [tastes cookie] Oh my God! Why have I never tasted these before?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.

Ross: Well, looks like we kicked your butts.
Joey: No, no. She kicked our butts. You could be on the olympic standing-there team.

Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you! She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like... the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in... the age of Ross!

Monica: Don't stare. Now, she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm waving.... Ok, that is either, "how could you?" or, "enormous breasts!"


Written by Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz and Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider
Directed by Paul Lazarus
Jane Sibbett as Carol Willick
Jessica Hecht as Susan Bunch
Cosimo Fusco as Paolo
Cynthia Mann as Jasmine
Jo Jean Pagano as Customer
Aired 1/12/95, 3/16/95