Chandler and Monica are a little short on funds, due to Chandler's lack of a paying job. Each individually asks Joey for a loan, swearing him to secrecy. When Chandler notices that Joey recently wrote a large check to Monica, Joey covers by saying it's for breast implants. Phoebe and Mike decide to live together; Phoebe gets excited about the possibilities in their future, including marriage. Then she learns that due to his first failed marriage, Mike never wants to get married again. They decide they want different things, and end their relationship. Rachel buys equipment to baby-proof the apartment, but has to hire a handyman to install it. Then Joey can't get past the baby protection devices.
Phoebe: I've never lived with a guy before.
Monica: It's just like living with a girl, only they don't steal your make-up. Unless they're playing, "This is
what my sister would look like."
Chandler: Yeah, she's not so cute.
Chandler: Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Chandler: What? What do you mean, you know?
Joey: Uh, I just figured it out. You know, I mean, you're not working, and the economy is bad.
Chandler: Oh, right.
Joey [to himself]: That is the fastest I have ever thought!
Chandler: Anyway, uh, I need to borrow some money.
Joey: Oh, sure, yeah. How much? Two thousand dollars?
Chandler: Yes, two thousand dollars exactly. How did you know?
Joey: Well, I know how much you used to make, and I know how much your rent is.
Chandler: Oh. Okay.
Joey [to himself]: I am on fire!
Ross: I love marriage.
Phoebe: Seriously? You? Divorce-o?
Ross: If you have to call me a name, I prefer, "Ross, The Divorcer." It's just cooler.
Joey: Okay, so I'm out four thousand dollars, and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
