Page Layout and Synopsis ©1998 by Darcy Partridge

The One With The Free Porn

Episode 4.17

[Previous][Next][Back to the Master List]

Joey and Chandler unexpectedly receive an "adult" movie channel. Monica urges Ross to express his true feelings to Emily before she leaves the country, but things don't go as well as expected--it turns out there's another man. Ross goes to London to prove his love for Emily, but she returns to the states to tell him she's chosen him. Phoebe finds out she's carrying triplets; Frank, Jr. considers dropping out of refrigerator college to get a job; Phoebe tries to come up with ways to make money so he won't have to give up his "dream."

The one where they said....

Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I must've hit something on the remote.
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Joey: No, we didn't even pay our cable bill. Maybe this is how they punish us.
Chandler: Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill--free phone sex!
Joey: Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill!

Ross: And why do you care so much?
Monica: Because you could get to live out my fantasy!
Ross: You had fantasies about Emily?
Monica: No, you know, the fantasy: Meet someone from a strange land, fall in madly love, and spend the rest of your lives together.
Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?
Monica: Yeah, that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything.

Monica: Oh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. You're probably gonna catch her just as she's about to go to the gate. You're gonna call out her name and go, "I love you!" And she's gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss. Everyone at the gate will applaud.
Ross: I am a good kisser.
Monica: Then you two can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in.... I've been watching too much porn.

Alice: No, no, no, no, it's going to be fine. Because, um, because I teach Home Ec, and, uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Y'know, it'll... it'll be like my very own little sweatshop.

Ross: Okay, okay! But if she doesn't call, it is definitely over! No, wait, wait. Unless eventually I call her, you know, just to she what's going on, and she says she'll call me back, but then she doesn't. Then it's over.
Joey: Way to be strong, man!

Rachel: Well, whatcha got there?
Phoebe: Oh this? Well, I'm glad you asked. Now don't you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? Ah! Now, I know what you're thinking--
Chandler: Pregnant woman slays four?

Chandler: I was just at the bank and there was this really hot teller, and she didn't ask me to go do it with her in the vault!
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza-delivery guy comes over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Chandler: What? No, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Joey: No! Nothing!
Chandler: You know what? We have to turn off the porn.


Teleplay by Richard Goodman
Story by Mark J. Kunerth
Directed by Michael Lembeck
Giovanni Ribisi as Frank, Jr.
Helen Baxendale as Emily Waltham
Debra Jo Rupp as Alice
Michael G. Hagerty as Mr. Treeger
Shirley Jordan as The Doctor
Aired 3/26/98, 8/6/98