Page Layout and Synopsis ©1997 by Darcy Partridge

The One With The Hypnosis Tape

Episode 3.18

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Rachel gives Chandler a hypnosis tape to help him quit smoking; however, the tape was designed for women--and it works all too well. Phoebe's brother, Frank, announces that he's getting married--to his home economics teacher, who is much older; Phoebe tries to break it up and enlists help from Ross and Joey. Monica gets asked out by a customer at the diner, who turns out to be a millionaire; they go out for pizza... in Italy.

The one where they said....

Gunther: Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey teat.

Ross: Nothing. It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Rachel: Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City.
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay?
Rachel: Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-Out on your butt cheeks.

Phoebe: What, he's 18.
Ross: Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah, or, or to get a hooker.
Chandler: Always illegal, Joe.

Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.

Monica: You gotta help me out here! You gotta set me up. You gotta get me back in the game.
Rachel: Well, that shouldn't be a problem. I mean, I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.

Monica: You only want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Pete: Well, if that were true, I'd dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward.

Phoebe: No, no. Oh, I'm fine with the age thing, ya know, until it starts sticking it's tongue down my little brother's throat.

Joey: So, we're walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, "Hey, let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes," remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, "Nah, let's just hang out at your place." Well, that was a nice move, dumbass!

Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Monica: Nah, he doesn't do anything for me.
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids... Alright, I get your point.

Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for you?
Chandler: Ya know what? Pretty good!
Rachel: Yeah?
Chandler: Good! I haven't smoked yet today, I feel great, and, and, and confident... that is a stunning blouse.

Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. You're 18, okay, she's 44. When you're 36, she's gonna be 88.
Frank: What, you don't think I know that?

Joey: Why can't I find that?
Ross: Don't ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Joey: Well, I want it!
Frank: You can have it!
Joey: I don't know, maybe I can't. I mean, maybe there's something wrong with me.
Frank: It's out there man! I've seen it! I got it!
Joey: Then you hold on to it!
Frank: All right, man!
Joey: All right, congratulations you lucky bastard!

Altered Hypnosis Tape: Cigarette's don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman who does not need to smoke. Joey's your best friend. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.


Written by Seth Kurland
Directed by Robby Benson
Jon Favreau as Pete Becker
Giovanni Ribisi as Frank, Jr.
Debra Jo Rupp as Alice
James Michael Tyler as Gunther
Jeffrey D. Brooks as Trent
Aired 3/13/97, 7/31/97